Secrets

As I walk in wide-eyed wonder, I explore the soot-filled nooks
Unravelling the secrets of life through untold stories
And every fragment of what was brought together
Makes me wonder what brought me to life
The blossoming sexuality, the natural boisterousness
And unfulfilled desires of every human being I meet
On their quest for happiness

Amidst moments of hurt, hate, and heal
While preserving their traditions
Under the onslaught of modernism
Triggers my opinions on personalities and characters
And like shockwaves of panic in a dystopian drama,
I discover the meaning of human nature
Its novelistic details, the filtered perspectives
The strictures of patriarchy and the struggles of matriarchy
It's like a comedy laced with cruelty between rain-soaked epiphanies
The comforting words, ingenuity, the barbed jokes
And the truest opinions from the boldest of souls
Souls that fight to stay alive, that march to stand their ground
Souls that gives witty commentaries
On love and loyalty, money and social classes
On races and religions, dilemmas and conundrums
And on my occasional slip into the realm of melodrama
I realise that life, with its mishaps, is just a practical magic
A drunk night of fries and margaritas
A middle finger protest and feminist treatise
An epic journey alongside a broody convict
And at times, an opportunity to sink
Into the psyche of a single-minded survivor
A singular vision and an individual suicide
But how true are they - these secrets of life?
And how perceptive are we with one secret after another?

-PRK-

Sunset Gaze

As I gaze across the river at dusk
I gaze across many lives
Revealing themselves
And leaving every bit of their soul with me
As I row my boat
Despite the silence, I hear noises
I hear music, every now and then
Not of flutes or soft guitars
But the unconscious howling
Of the mystifying shadows
And often I wonder, are these shadows of the hominians or phantasmas?
Unnamed and trapped
On the other side of the oblivion gate
Constantly battling their way out...
I believe this sunset gaze across the river
Has no end
Time may have abbreviated
And I witnessed change
But will I see these souls again?
Perhaps another sunset
Tomorrow...
Gazing steadily to the horizon
Of orange rays, as it slowly fades
Or after another full moon?

-PRK-

The Chancellor

I exist in an ambiguous space and time
Where the city is turning mad
With evildoings and violence taking its toll
Often I wish I was far away
In the sounds of silence
Nothing but peace at the border of the town
Maybe in the woods, perhaps the hills
Where I don't feel that I should change my name
My address and identity in the hope of finding freedom
Where I don't have to live in the shadow of fear
A certain power that will always hunt me down

I am consumed by my pursuit to survive where I am
My desire is to come out of the clutches of somewhat a tormenting other half
Often they say that sometimes it takes the darkest hour of our life
The fear of death, to regain our consciousness back into life
I am not just one person
I am that two lives
The completely symbiotic nature of a couple
Constantly in our darkest hour
Going against each other
Like a relationship that has already fallen apart
That is moving fast towards its end

"But do not lose hope", they say
As I wander on empty streets every passing night
As I lose myself to my relentless angst towards somewhat an unyielding life
"Your life is an anthology. Your chapter is not done yet."
I answered them, "but it is not and never was mine to write.
I am never my own person.
I am a puppet.
My life began with an incessant harassment by that I should never mention.
I was pushed to a corner, to take the extreme step.
I never meant to end a life.
I never wanted to take a life.
All I wanted was freedom.

And come 1945."

-PRK-

Perimeter Point Zero

When I used to look into your eyes, I see you constantly searching
I noticed that the shadow in you constantly wants to escape from whatever it is that your soul longs to run from
I know a little bit about your past but I know you only chose to share what you think I and everyone else can handle
I'm not too sure if you're being true to yourself but I often notice that you try
Around your friends - and I only know a few - I sometimes feel that you hold yourself back
Like you have walls around you
Maybe you like your space
Maybe there's only so much you want people to see
Or maybe you are overprotective about the tiny room you have for yourself
I may be wrong but I know you have so much on your mind
I don't think you're lost but you're definitely looking for something
I believe like everyone else, of course you're also looking for happiness
And I believe there's so much more in life that you want to achieve
I hope and pray that you find what you're looking for
That you find happiness in a place or in a person you believe you can be your true self with
You're vulnerable but you don't want people to see that
So be it anywhere, be it with anyone, I hope one day, you no longer have to escape
That you no longer feel the need to put on your mask and just be true to yourself

-PRK-

If I Meet You In Greece

If I meet you in Greece, I hope it'll be in Delphi
So you and I can talk about things honeymooners don't often discuss
For you are political and you've studied religions
While I am still learning and looking for directions
And I hope we'll meet in the month of October
So we can catch the summer light and sound shows on the Acropolis
At the hill and the Parthenon, perhaps creating our own Sound of Music

But if we don't meet in Greece..

Well, I don't want to think about not meeting!

-PRK-

She Found Peace

They told her,

"Breathe, and get your mind off it.
Sleep under the star, don’t let your mind lose it.
Accept imperfection, practice mindfulness.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and live with no regrets."

And so she remained cool, remained calm and let them drool
Acted fooled when they claimed she’s under-ruled
Such depression made her lend a barf
Turned her head around, whispered,

"That's enough."

And so she took a bath by the candlelight
She meditated by the neon light
She let her feet take her towards the pink strobe light
Smiled when she saw those idiots slipped by the mountainside

And she thought,

"Oh, they were right. Be present in the moment, leave the past aside."

And so she found the good in all situations and laid on the grass
Embraced her freedom and held her head up with class

-PRK-

Broken, Again; Until Then

I woke up zombified
A living dead living in lies
I didn't know how I'd ever survive
Truth is, I can't even look into your eyes
The story went on that I'm stronger than ever
Only God knows how I'm trying to keep it together
When it's too quiet, I can hear your voice
I can hear you talking and it's not a choice
It's not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't
I fell too soon and I fell deep into confusion
"What is this?" I asked but I can't get the answer
I supposed it was just what my heart desired
What I longed for as I'm no longer searching for 'forever'
What I needed most is a soul that would love me better
Accept me for me, for what I have in mind, night and day
For my thoughts, my questions and my plans in May
Dear diary, would you show me where I went wrong?
From all my entries, show me what I shouldn't have spelt wrong
What I shouldn't have assumed, shouldn't have consumed
For now I've got nowhere to go, nothing to write, nothing to look forward to
But another day, another soul that would make me forget you
Broken again
Yes, I'm broken again
For this quest has no end
And so..
Until then

-PRK-

Bebas

Soalan ku masih yang sama
Sentiasa berkaitan dengan ertinya cinta
Kerna aku sering dihantui dan sering dipermainkan
Oleh igauan usang
Seperti mereka, aku juga ingin bahagia
Seperti mereka, aku juga ingin meneroka dunia
Akan tetapi, aku sudah penat menanti
Semakin lesu, semakin segan dengan fantasi
Aku tarik nafasku
Dan aku yakin ini haluan yang harus kurentas
Yang harus ku tinggalkan agar aku bebas
Bebas kah?
Jawapannya hanya pada diriku
Setelah aku rentasi hutan dan jalan berliku itu

-PRK-

Thus Spoke The Bumblebee

I made my way into the woods
Only to realize the buzzing pack behind me
Watching and reading my every moves
Undressed my strategies
My muscles were jaded then broke lose
I tried to catch my breath, panting uneasy
Charging forth, wasted my youth
Thus spoke the bumblebee

-PRK-

The Rove Beetle

It snapped like a twig, adust and aged
Erupted into debris, spaced and misplaced
Scattered in the night sky, soon interlaced
A journey with no end, only to be retraced
By a chain of reactions, the earth had vouchsafed
For such a being with such curio, the past had enslaved
Soon as the sun awakened, reflections then displaced
And the twig remain malformed yet unscathed

-PRK-