Manifesto

Some have killed and pillaged but the struggle never ends
Reigned by the supreme, feeling lost in this homeland
Belittle and castigate one another causing pain
What's the point of all this? Aren't our blood all the same?
I guess not; now violent is the culture of the world
So much rage, enslavement happens to all boys and girls
Aggression, affection, or are we all playing dumb?
Can't blame this commotion on the riches or the slum
What's the ultimate salvation? Another round of reformation?
Bloodbath, a cold bath, in the name of such religion?
See this is not about principles, it's all fanaticism
Superstitious beliefs, self-glorification
Origins and doctrines mystified, misinterpreted
The essence of the truth they've all eradicated
I was brought to this world to understand and seek the truth
But so far when I see you, you were aching these youth
Needed them to stay confused, make sure they get used
To the way they get bruised, the way you abused the accused
Now get this, you're not the God or boss of us
You’re probably just another parasite, even worse, just a puss
Dying by the minute when the rest of us diminish
How long more can you fight this when the world comes to a finish?
I fear for your mentality, the one that caused brutality
Enabler of calamity, still grooming all your prodigy
My dear, your ruling majesty, guess you've not seen the sanity
You've been riding so high in life, your middle name is vanity
The Holy Ghost won't cover you, but see those moths, they'll hover you
And if the orphans could, they would cloud your sky with choppers too
Now tell them what the monarchs knew, the evilness you can't unscrew
The inmates, the elderlies, they'd even crack a tooth or two
To see that you keep your words, your manifesto, not your turd
To see that you really care for those you once left unheard
Preachers - they preach, there's the gap and there's the bridge
Now let your actions speak, your promises - you keep

-PRK-

Secrets

As I walk in wide-eyed wonder, I explore the soot-filled nooks
Unravelling the secrets of life through untold stories
And every fragment of what was brought together
Makes me wonder what brought me to life
The blossoming sexuality, the natural boisterousness
And unfulfilled desires of every human being I meet
On their quest for happiness

Amidst moments of hurt, hate, and heal
While preserving their traditions
Under the onslaught of modernism
Triggers my opinions on personalities and characters
And like shockwaves of panic in a dystopian drama,
I discover the meaning of human nature
Its novelistic details, the filtered perspectives
The strictures of patriarchy and the struggles of matriarchy
It's like a comedy laced with cruelty between rain-soaked epiphanies
The comforting words, ingenuity, the barbed jokes
And the truest opinions from the boldest of souls
Souls that fight to stay alive, that march to stand their ground
Souls that gives witty commentaries
On love and loyalty, money and social classes
On races and religions, dilemmas and conundrums
And on my occasional slip into the realm of melodrama
I realise that life, with its mishaps, is just a practical magic
A drunk night of fries and margaritas
A middle finger protest and feminist treatise
An epic journey alongside a broody convict
And at times, an opportunity to sink
Into the psyche of a single-minded survivor
A singular vision and an individual suicide
But how true are they - these secrets of life?
And how perceptive are we with one secret after another?

-PRK-

May We, The Women

See I have this impulse to idolise the dead, the strong
The uncompromised; you can see it in my eyes
The kind of respect I have,
I look up to the women with the strength I'm building to ratify

You can't stop the droplets from slipping in
You can't deny the power that we're bringing in
The tender moments, jokes, and anecdotes that we'll stop at nothing
And the loss we're lapsing into a fond reminiscent

Here's to the heroes that we're missing
To Cleopatra who defined independent strength
To Rosa Parks for the civil rights movement
And Josephine Baker with her rhythmic hands
Stood beside Martin Luther King, not for the fame

Even Malala's bravery was on point then
Who would have thought she could stop the rain
And she fought her pain to open a brand new lane to many stories worth to pen
And Frida Kahlo's agonised poetry on canvas inspired me

You see it's about time we paint our own reality
Like the lady with the lamp in 1853
Florence Nightingale took a stand in equality
And Marie Curie battled sexism entirely
Throughout her journey till 1903
The prize she won didn't mean anything really
But 1911 proved she's not just an accessory

Elizabeth the daughter of one of the most feared Kings
Over decades she was feared like fear was the in thing
Married to her kingdom, the longest serving monarch
The only mistress of half an island, power to the matriarch

But these are only a handful of ones I constantly thank
For knocking on my door of perceptions, never leaving me blank
Heroes in their own right, top of every rank
And Maya Angelou for the poetry bank

And here's to the women soon to be saluted
May the praiseworthy legacy never be polluted
The setbacks, the side paths, may they always be blessed
May we, the major component continue fighting for the rest

-PRK-

The Chancellor

I exist in an ambiguous space and time
Where the city is turning mad
With evildoings and violence taking its toll
Often I wish I was far away
In the sounds of silence
Nothing but peace at the border of the town
Maybe in the woods, perhaps the hills
Where I don't feel that I should change my name
My address and identity in the hope of finding freedom
Where I don't have to live in the shadow of fear
A certain power that will always hunt me down

I am consumed by my pursuit to survive where I am
My desire is to come out of the clutches of somewhat a tormenting other half
Often they say that sometimes it takes the darkest hour of our life
The fear of death, to regain our consciousness back into life
I am not just one person
I am that two lives
The completely symbiotic nature of a couple
Constantly in our darkest hour
Going against each other
Like a relationship that has already fallen apart
That is moving fast towards its end

"But do not lose hope", they say
As I wander on empty streets every passing night
As I lose myself to my relentless angst towards somewhat an unyielding life
"Your life is an anthology. Your chapter is not done yet."
I answered them, "but it is not and never was mine to write.
I am never my own person.
I am a puppet.
My life began with an incessant harassment by that I should never mention.
I was pushed to a corner, to take the extreme step.
I never meant to end a life.
I never wanted to take a life.
All I wanted was freedom.

And come 1945."

-PRK-

Flake Off, Quagmire

Needles pierced through my skin 

Attached to the machine

Entering the layers perhaps 1/16" of an inch

At approximately 10-15 needle drops per second

Fast enough to avoid puncturing my skin 

And causing bleeding 

And yet slow enough to avoid tearing it

It bled and wept a little

But it was a uniquely personal experience

They often ask if it's sore; if the pain is unspeakable 

That somehow got me thinking once - no, a few times

That if I'd cut myself, will I bleed black?

Like the ink used for my tattoos

But I don't blame them for asking such a question 

Fooled by horror stories, they're bound to think that it's excruciating 

Often I'd like to tell them that my body can take almost anything 

A cut, a burn, 10 tattoos, and counting 

My body can withstand different amounts of pain

No need for drugs that can thin the blood

No need for skin-numbing creams

Because it is in the mind that I control the sensation 

It is my mental strength that I can always hinge upon

But no matter how strong my mind is

Sometimes my heart fails 

Every time it got fooled, played and hurt

Only time can tell how long I'd have to heal the pain

Unlike the healing process of my tattoos  

It was never quite manageable

An open wound still

I don't know how a healed heart feels like

But... Flake off, Quagmire

-PRK-

Perimeter Point Zero

When I used to look into your eyes, I see you constantly searching
I noticed that the shadow in you constantly wants to escape from whatever it is that your soul longs to run from
I know a little bit about your past but I know you only chose to share what you think I and everyone else can handle
I'm not too sure if you're being true to yourself but I often notice that you try
Around your friends - and I only know a few - I sometimes feel that you hold yourself back
Like you have walls around you
Maybe you like your space
Maybe there's only so much you want people to see
Or maybe you are overprotective about the tiny room you have for yourself
I may be wrong but I know you have so much on your mind
I don't think you're lost but you're definitely looking for something
I believe like everyone else, of course you're also looking for happiness
And I believe there's so much more in life that you want to achieve
I hope and pray that you find what you're looking for
That you find happiness in a place or in a person you believe you can be your true self with
You're vulnerable but you don't want people to see that
So be it anywhere, be it with anyone, I hope one day, you no longer have to escape
That you no longer feel the need to put on your mask and just be true to yourself

-PRK-

If I Meet You In Greece

If I meet you in Greece, I hope it'll be in Delphi
So you and I can talk about things honeymooners don't often discuss
For you are political and you've studied religions
While I am still learning and looking for directions
And I hope we'll meet in the month of October
So we can catch the summer light and sound shows on the Acropolis
At the hill and the Parthenon, perhaps creating our own Sound of Music

But if we don't meet in Greece..

Well, I don't want to think about not meeting!

-PRK-

Selfish Love

Not that I miss you and wish you were here
I miss the person you once were
The time when you said you've waited
And didn't mind waiting until I say yes

Not that I'm saying I wish you didn't change
Because I have learned that at times I have to be content
And that I need to change

But I know me and I know you
I know I have my lows and so do you
How do we compromise
That time I wish I knew
And there is no secret I was still stuck to you

Until you made the call and left
Until I realised you couldn't wait anymore
Until I learned that love is not selfish
But the one who love and longed to be loved is

But you're a memory that keeps me up some nights
That reminds me of unresolved conflicts that they talked about
A memory that gives me clarity of thought
A memory that is common to a woman

A woman who deserves love and understanding
Not rules and regulations
A woman who deserves romance and warmth
Not terms and conditions
A woman who believes that she deserves to be herself

-PRK-

Eulogium

Tight as 9/11 - that's how shut my world was
Away from the abuses - verbal abuses as loud as the Krakatoa eruption
A destructive explosion enough to break every bone

Explode every blood vessels, and rip off every muscle from million miles away
"What's with the sporadic abuses?" I'd asked myself
Why so abrasive? Why so unkind?
Why am I scorned upon over the mistakes that were not mine?
Punished as I walk every Swedish mile; escaping from the remainder of my past
Until you make me fall in love with the defiance of anger
Spellbound by the thought of revenge, but it is not revengement that I delve for
It is a calumet of peace that I contrive - a contentment in life
Perhaps one day, having them read a poignant eulogy
Of a mutilated personage; shunned and left to trade zingers in solitary
The one who became noble and serene

Whose entries aren't about any pageant queen

A fiendish scream or a charlatan's scheme

-PRK-

Within The English Village

As I walk down the streets, wide and narrow streets, l often imagine them
Braving trashings, insults, death threats, batons, teargas, water cannons, the works
And with thousands of riot police trying to break up the protests and strikes
A force to be reckoned with, me, as part of them, hope to perhaps make history again
A history where behind the cloak of fear,  the gale of creative destruction would be unleashed
To be set free to put an end to the unrealistic demands, the catastrophic social implications and the political games of those from every sides of the divide

Of course in my mind, I'm very much controlled,
I'm very much prepared to rein in the masses against the authoritarian rules and religion
Ready for the straight journalistic report of the biting satire and classical literary themes
If not ever-ready to dance along to the euphoric political rallies 
But these are just my imaginations, my wish and hope to be the vanguard of change
And often I wonder, would it have meant a triumphant journey if I know what exactly am I defending, what exactly am I fighting for

Often I don't
Often I'm torn
Often all I see is a thin line instead of a silver lining
Often we all don't
Often we are still trying to comprehend what transpired the previous day's curiosity 
And often it's the biased ideologies
Within the English village
In which we are often bullied into submission, to keep mum
By the ruling elite and the flawed system

-PRK-

Weltschmerz

I've had my chapters before I met you
Chapters that were passionate in the beginning that ended with
"You love me until you don't."

One chapter died without closure; as if I was left at the altar
Years spent trying to understand the holy mess
Years wasted trying to weave and mend what's broken
Only to uncover later it never really matters
I was in agony

Chapter two then began just as hope was about to cease
But abruptly it ended with
"You're not very Christian for me."
Frankly I find that pathetic; it wasn't worth my tears
Though I went to bed after a few bottles of beer
I was in agony

Chapter three isn't worth mentioning
Pure lust on one end and it ended slowly with treachery
Then a 'modern romance' sparked
Lecherous, hostile, revolting, revengeful; I hated everything
I was in agony

The fourth chapter... It was a soap opera
The kisses scorched me
My body trembled every time he pulls me closer
Two hearts together, and I thought
"This probably is the beginning of my last chapter."
I was wrong and I thought
"Forever is over."
Again.. I was in agony

And here is a new chapter... Are we writing it together?
Or will I be the one pulling it together?
Once again be in agony?

-PRK-

Indian Romance

I see it in movies, I see it in real life

I see the confessions of love, 

The beauty of it and I realised 

I want to wake up next to you, tomorrow maybe 

In Manali, the snowcapped mountains, maybe 

Or perhaps Shimla 

Strolling along aimlessly down a path laden with flowers 

To the poetic sound of a sitar

Drop by Agra, they said

To the city of love 

Visit the Taj Mahal, the godly cosmos of real love

Exquisite, isn't it?

But I have different paths to cross

Memories to erase and with you, I want it to close

You're not my Shah, nor am I your Mumtaz

But this is our journey, a story about us

Wandering in the sandalwood forests 

Or maybe in dreamy hills

Maybe in ancient architectures 

Let the truth reveals itself 

Through the sweet sounds of birds 

Maybe the aroma of freshly brewed coffee  

Or through the charming boulevards

Maybe the sunrise in Pondicherry

They've also handpicked Kashmir - a beauty second to none 

A scene in Srinagar where Shammi Kapoor romancing Sharmila Tagore in her bun

Or should we go to Rajasthan and embrace the old-world charm?

Maybe relive Jodha-Akhbar's epic love,

Swaying to the sound of the Bansuri,
Me wrapped in your arms

And should we be around people?

Or should it just be you and me?

Breathing the fresh breeze of Baga

The pleasant ambience, an exotic sandy retreat

I'm throwing you options but I'll walk the bumpy paths with you 

Through your ups and downs, I'll be true to you 

Whether this romance will spark by the glistening lakes

Or by the beaches in Goa 

We'll never know what it takes

For I've only seen it in movies 

And a few in real life 

Never experienced it myself 

Maybe I will, the next sunrise

Maybe it won't 

But I will now leave it to chance 

Just know that between me and you

There will always be this Indian romance

Warm and true, just me and you 

Like tabla tarang

Our hearts beats for this Indian romance

-PRK-

A Paradigm Shift Perhaps

After the storm and unavoidable turbulences
I wanted to sit quietly and enjoy my own company
Or perhaps sit in a tree and watch the world go by
But I too wanted to sleep under the stars with you
Live today, talk about the world
And have a quiet time next to you
Find that balance that we both are looking for
And memorise poems that we can relate to
I want to listen to my own heartbeat
And love without fear
Forgive and forget, and find clarity of thought
Here, as I walk this earth with you
A paradigm shift perhaps, when I finally meet you

-PRK-

Inside, You Cry

I remember that time when you talk about your past
How you upset the people around you
The games you played
The hearts you broke
But I also remember the other side of you
You're not heartless
Just a temporary emotional cripple
To hide who you really are from others
The vulnerable side of you
The part that would bleed
And takes longer to heal than a cut
But that's you on the outside
Inside, you cry
But you'd try not to
You'd push them aside
Your pain, your anger
You're in agony and you won't admit it
You just want to be strong
At least show them that you are
When you're not
Because inside, you cry

-PRK-

Love, When Nothing Else Matters

Someone once said,
"You're losing it."
"You've lost your game."
"You're going nowhere."
I didn't ask why
But that thought lingered in my head for a while
How will you know when you truly are in love?
I supposed, when nothing else matters
Just love, when nothing else matters
Be there when nothing else matters
Be present in the moment like nothing else matters

-PRK-

A Company, Maybe

I can hear the breeze brushing through the trees
Birds chirping and singing in melodies
Teenage girls joking and laughing with their grannies
Over a cup of coffee and chocolate chip cookies
And kids running around chasing each other
Playing hide and seek, I can hear their feet pitter-patter
And their moms gossiping with each other
Later talking about their family and the sounds of nature
While their dads catch up at the football game
Talking about their sons, the car engines and getting together for a jam
They look happy, no one seem to be in agony
Even sad faces then cracked a joke about the economy
It was a good day for an evening walk, definitely
But I just sat at the bench, appreciating life, wishing that birds could talk to me
So I can tell them I'm happy to be here
To watch the sunset with my bottle of beer
To tell my loved ones I love them dearly
And wishing they were all here with me
Or a company, maybe

-PRK-

She Found Peace

They told her,

"Breathe, and get your mind off it.
Sleep under the star, don’t let your mind lose it.
Accept imperfection, practice mindfulness.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and live with no regrets."

And so she remained cool, remained calm and let them drool
Acted fooled when they claimed she’s under-ruled
Such depression made her lend a barf
Turned her head around, whispered,

"That's enough."

And so she took a bath by the candlelight
She meditated by the neon light
She let her feet take her towards the pink strobe light
Smiled when she saw those idiots slipped by the mountainside

And she thought,

"Oh, they were right. Be present in the moment, leave the past aside."

And so she found the good in all situations and laid on the grass
Embraced her freedom and held her head up with class

-PRK-

Broken, Again; Until Then

I woke up zombified
A living dead living in lies
I didn't know how I'd ever survive
Truth is, I can't even look into your eyes
The story went on that I'm stronger than ever
Only God knows how I'm trying to keep it together
When it's too quiet, I can hear your voice
I can hear you talking and it's not a choice
It's not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't
I fell too soon and I fell deep into confusion
"What is this?" I asked but I can't get the answer
I supposed it was just what my heart desired
What I longed for as I'm no longer searching for 'forever'
What I needed most is a soul that would love me better
Accept me for me, for what I have in mind, night and day
For my thoughts, my questions and my plans in May
Dear diary, would you show me where I went wrong?
From all my entries, show me what I shouldn't have spelt wrong
What I shouldn't have assumed, shouldn't have consumed
For now I've got nowhere to go, nothing to write, nothing to look forward to
But another day, another soul that would make me forget you
Broken again
Yes, I'm broken again
For this quest has no end
And so..
Until then

-PRK-

Oxygen

Barely breathing, lost in a lullaby
Roaming like a criminal, an angry passerby
Hurt inside out, buried deep in agony
In the harsh light of day, stuck in a rhapsody
But in the calmness of night, your warmth gives me peace
In the sweetness of dreams, you give me joy and bliss
And I'm breathing again with hope, faith and trust
Believing again that this too shall pass

-PRK-

Still In Agony

See, I've never meant to ever violate your words
But sometimes I go through my existence, harder than you thought
Got nobody to lean on, to count on to keep me bold
And there are moments in my life I almost vacate my hope
And I can never ever brain how you suck it through these years
How you obviously try to hold on, and the moments you've lived soaked in your tears
Never could I understand why you're still standing with those smears
Though at times you'd sounded like you're buckled up to switch your gears
But here's a question - have you ever thought of how I wish it has an end
How I wish that someday somehow, your happiness isn't condemned
That you're up for any challenges for yourself, don't need to bend
That maybe you'd be happier with your ideas, thoughts and no dent
Because it's draining me, side-splitting me as I try to live my life
Haunting me every moment as I try to really strive
A true standing pillar for the home, still trying to survive
And there are times I hated you for taking away my other life
I had to grow up, had to live up to some expectations and such
Had to crash and walk away from a different set of clutch
Guess you never really thought that it's been so hard on me
How I wish I didn't have to be part of my current agony
For it's making me despising too many things that seemed beautiful
And I've been living in monochrome, nothing was ever colourful
See I'm broken bad, bleeding inside, perhaps you'd even see my clot
If only you'd take your time to sit and read my stormy plot

-PRK-