Dear First Boyfriend

At 22 I asked myself if you were right for me
If we were ever going to be that kind of couple who sleeps on a bedsheet made of silk
If we were ever going to actually be compatible for each other
I loved you; I did so very deeply
You I thought, were my life but I felt a certain distance not too long after
At 16 I thought it was too soon to say anything
And you were living your life, working hard for your future
Me I thought, would just be a distraction
But I fell in love with you at 14
Soon after the day when I saw you from the living room window
And I invited you in
Never did I thought that you'd be the one I fell so deep for
I had dreams, I had hopes, I had plans
I wanted to travel the world with you
But I wasn't comfortable holding your hand
I wanted to kiss you at the park in the day
But I couldn't share with you my darkest secret
I wanted to be around your family and friends
But I could sense insincerity
The kind of energy that does not allow me to be me
It wasn't your fault and it's too cliché to say I'm the problem
But the universe kept dropping hints
Giving signs that I needed to let you go
And you, at that point really wanted to leave
At 26 I understood what it was
And that, I will keep to myself until the day I see you again
To tell you how I really feel

-PRK-

Selfish Love

Not that I miss you and wish you were here
I miss the person you once were
The time when you said you've waited
And didn't mind waiting until I say yes

Not that I'm saying I wish you didn't change
Because I have learned that at times I have to be content
And that I need to change

But I know me and I know you
I know I have my lows and so do you
How do we compromise
That time I wish I knew
And there is no secret I was still stuck to you

Until you made the call and left
Until I realised you couldn't wait anymore
Until I learned that love is not selfish
But the one who love and longed to be loved is

But you're a memory that keeps me up some nights
That reminds me of unresolved conflicts that they talked about
A memory that gives me clarity of thought
A memory that is common to a woman

A woman who deserves love and understanding
Not rules and regulations
A woman who deserves romance and warmth
Not terms and conditions
A woman who believes that she deserves to be herself

-PRK-

The Rove Beetle

It snapped like a twig, adust and aged
Erupted into debris, spaced and misplaced
Scattered in the night sky, soon interlaced
A journey with no end, only to be retraced
By a chain of reactions, the earth had vouchsafed
For such a being with such curio, the past had enslaved
Soon as the sun awakened, reflections then displaced
And the twig remain malformed yet unscathed

-PRK-

Redundant Twerk

As I was going to work
I could feel the breeze twerk
I could feel the shapeless shadows lurk
Then my clutch went cigarette jerk

What was that I asked
I then felt my past walked pass
Felt so real, a dark aghast
A mystical rainbow in contrast

It's alright, I told myself
It's only until twelve
Neither it's a pack nor a commonwealth
It's just a certain emotion, no need to oppress

-PRK-