Saturday 7 November 2015

Destroyed

Destroyed...
That's what I was
I was destroyed and my heart would weep silently
And I would ask myself how long will I just hold on to dreams and hopes
Then you came
Things weren't fixed but perhaps I was given hope
At least something to remember
Something to help me cope
I don't know what this is
It's like a euphoria
Something that hums at the other end
But now I'm just tired
Tired of uncertainties
Tired of sitting back
Tired of being on my own
Tired of being alone...
And destroyed

-PRK-

Wednesday 21 October 2015

Stay Quiet

There are moments that I just want to be around silence
Around soundless noises and muted screams
Around loud muffle and perhaps quietened wail
For my mind is crowded, in fact exhausted
And my soul is somehow dreary,
Detached from the euphoria that was once so melodious, poetic and rhythmical
That was yearned and required
Now it's a pastime
A selective circumvention
And I am a patient of selective mutism
For I will speak only when spoken to
I will wave only when I want to
And I will knock on your door only when I feel like it
Because the world is too noisy for me
The world alone
That includes you - the stranger, you - the friend and you - my thoughts

-PRK-

Friday 2 October 2015

Reality Is...

Why didn't you leave?
I'm staying for the kids.
I want us to stay for the kids.

Why didn't you leave?
A divorce is not acceptable in our society.
And it shouldn't be the last resort.

Why didn't you leave?
Every marriage has its own struggle.
I don't want to give up on mine.

Why didn't you leave?
It shouldn't be too easy.
Nobody said it was easy.

Why didn't you leave?
He is my life.
And I'm his holy wedded wife.

Why didn't you leave?
I have nowhere to go.
I don't even know where to go.

-PRK-

Monday 7 September 2015

Beholden, Need Not

I don't want to own you
A jaywalker, and if you're the fence, I just want to walk pass you
See you every day for a little while as I walk down the street
Sweeping you off my feet maybe; with my cuffs, if you're the ground that is
Maybe water you in the morning on my way to work if you're the flowerbed

I don't want to hang on to you
A bird, and you're a tree, I just want to drop by and perch for a while when it's too hot
Or when it rains, you'll be my shelter
Or maybe I'll lay down on your dried leaves on the ground if I'm being me
I'll pick a book and have a read

I don't want to cling to you
But if I'm a photographer I wouldn't mind a suspicious dollar bill to take your photos
Capturing your smile, your goofy self and your gaze
Even if you feel uncomfortable, not being yourself in the morning, I'll make you pose for fun
And bribe you for breakfast!

I won't try to possess you, convince you
But I'll fight you, make you say what you want to say
Make you say what you mean and mean what you say
I'll cut you till you bleed to make you feel alive
Make you realise that I'll be there if you need me around

Because we met to meet, met to love, met to care
Not necessarily to be with each other, be in love, be in each other's care
Because love is a mystery, love is poetic, love is an interesting phenomenon
Something that wanders in our imagination
An illumination in the darkness

And I won't have you beholden to me
Unless you want to
Unless you want me to
Unless the canvas of your life needs colour
Unless you want me around forever

-PRK-

Monday 31 August 2015

Saturday 22 August 2015

Bodied

Under the moon
Stars; the witness
Courneous voices
Silver rays, silver caresses
Scrambling to obey
Strength against weakness
Shuddering, grumbling
Hitting falsetto between shivers
Throats going dry
Screaming down to whispers
Grips getting tighter
Torsos lifted to the highest
And it drips, slowly catching breath, slowly retires
Such is the hungering desire
And a grand finale at its finest

-PRK-

Thursday 20 August 2015

Opaque

Enchanted by mystery
Charmed by the eclipse found in solace

Untouchable, warm and discreet
A whiff of secrecy wounding me so deep

So promiscuous when I close my eyes
Lost in fantasy, possessed by desire

Unrequited yet complacent
Ah! Astonishingly absurd

-PRK-

Tuesday 18 August 2015

The Gothamist

Entranced by the new world, I forgot to tiptoe
It pulsed when I close my eyes
So spacious, so vulgar
And the loudvoiced presence of ambitions slowly assassinated me
I whispered to myself
The words of empowerment
The words of encouragement
But it was so fast, I couldn't detach myself
Slowly losing my wit
I am no God, am I?
I die.. I will perish
In a flash
Someday

-PRK-

Bebas

Soalan ku masih yang sama
Sentiasa berkaitan dengan ertinya cinta
Kerna aku sering dihantui dan sering dipermainkan
Oleh igauan usang
Seperti mereka, aku juga ingin bahagia
Seperti mereka, aku juga ingin meneroka dunia
Akan tetapi, aku sudah penat menanti
Semakin lesu, semakin segan dengan fantasi
Aku tarik nafasku
Dan aku yakin ini haluan yang harus kurentas
Yang harus ku tinggalkan agar aku bebas
Bebas kah?
Jawapannya hanya pada diriku
Setelah aku rentasi hutan dan jalan berliku itu

-PRK-

Monday 17 August 2015

Theorem Unspoken

The poor are scrapping crumbs from the tables of the rich
Still struggling to afford rice, spice and tents to pitch
And the growing youth slowly dies in poverty
This, in the metropolis, is a permanent melody

It is not a landlocked country bordered by war
At least not bombs and guns and a bulletproof car
But moral decadence and perhaps policy diffusions
The fumbled communion and upsetting intrusions

And in this silence exist a loud shriek
Continuing to exacerbate until the last creek
Whitewashed, blinded and thrown into the labyrinth
And a decade of stagnation is not really a misprint

Perhaps a malefaction or a misperception
Between unspoken supremacy and a shivered weapon
But who would know what is wrong from right?
Who would have the will to watch what might?

Better yet, who would speak up and lead tonight?
To uphold the truth and once more write?
Or will we all scorn and lock jaws in fright?
Or sell our souls to the fore on sight?

-PRK-

Wednesday 24 June 2015

Oxygen

Barely breathing, lost in a lullaby
Roaming like a criminal, an angry passerby
Hurt inside out, buried deep in agony
In the harsh light of day, stuck in a rhapsody
But in the calmness of night, your warmth gives me peace
In the sweetness of dreams, you give me joy and bliss
And I'm breathing again with hope, faith and trust
Believing again that this too shall pass

-PRK-

Saturday 28 March 2015

Still In Agony

See, I've never meant to ever violate your words
But sometimes I go through my existence, harder than you thought
Got nobody to lean on, to count on to keep me bold
And there are moments in my life I almost vacate my hope
And I can never ever brain how you suck it through these years
How you obviously try to hold on, and the moments you've lived soaked in your tears
Never could I understand why you're still standing with those smears
Though at times you'd sounded like you're buckled up to switch your gears
But here's a question - have you ever thought of how I wish it has an end
How I wish that someday somehow, your happiness isn't condemned
That you're up for any challenges for yourself, don't need to bend
That maybe you'd be happier with your ideas, thoughts and no dent
Because it's draining me, side-splitting me as I try to live my life
Haunting me every moment as I try to really strive
A true standing pillar for the home, still trying to survive
And there are times I hated you for taking away my other life
I had to grow up, had to live up to some expectations and such
Had to crash and walk away from a different set of clutch
Guess you never really thought that it's been so hard on me
How I wish I didn't have to be part of my current agony
For it's making me despising too many things that seemed beautiful
And I've been living in monochrome, nothing was ever colourful
See I'm broken bad, bleeding inside, perhaps you'd even see my clot
If only you'd take your time to sit and read my stormy plot

-PRK-

Sunday 15 March 2015

I Like The Idea

I like the idea that we're different and how it is proven
I like the idea that we are improving and knowing that we're living
I like the idea that we have things that were worthless more than what's worth our while
I like the idea that we didn't second guess even for a while
I like the idea that I'm intimidating and you're intimidated
I like the idea that I wasn't wrong about what we leave unattended
I like the idea that you're happily married and that I am happier without it
I like the idea that you're making it and I've made it

-PRK-

Saturday 17 January 2015

Dongengmu

Sememangnya dia tabah
Namun dia bukan Badang
Sampai bila lagi akan kau mempermainkannya
Belum puas kah kau melihatnya derita?
Sememangnya dia tabah
Walau dia berperang seorang
Sampai bila lagi akan kau memperdayakannya
Belum puas kah kau melihatnya kecewa?
Sememangnya dia tabah
Tetapi kenapa dibiar naik radang
Sampai bila lagi akan kau mencacinya
Belum puas kah kau melihatnya sengsara?
Sememangnya dia tabah
Walau dia rasa semakin hilang
Sampai masanya nanti, dia akan tumbang
Bak bangunan konkrit yang haus tapaknya

-PRK-

Tuesday 13 January 2015

Rosebud

Garden pink, rather modest, much too cute
So innocent, so many things to refute
Had no guts to hold you, I was irresolute
Couldn't digest how to somehow reconstitute
Outraged I was, as I thought I couldn't suspire
I thought your beingness would perhaps scotch my desire
I thought you'd purposely make me somehow misfire
I supposed the creator and you once walked through the fire

-PRK-

Friday 9 January 2015

Jilid Aku

Berlaga lagi hati ini, penuh perihal keraguan
Tiada kesudahannya juga keberangan ini, terasa dihina dan diperlekehkan
Kekhilafan itu sukar dihindar walau seribu kali dimaafkan
Kerna pendirian ku sering kali mudah dilecuhkan
Umpama rangkap yang rancak aku sedia berlari
Dan menyebarkan cacian sebelum diriku dihakimi
Kenapa tidak diulangi sahaja semuanya?
Rasanya masih sama seperti jilid yang lama
Ku sangkakan ini novella baru
Dikhianati rupanya, walau di dunia baru
Kerna seharusnya aku yang menulis
Seharusnya cuma aku yang berpuitis
Walau gusar, gementar atau terguris
Kegembiraan ku cuma hanya aku yang lukis
Kerna ini jilid aku
Langkah ku dan keinginan ku
Siapakah kau seharusnya bagi ku?
Jika cuma tohmahan sahaja yang keluar dari mulutmu

-PRK-