Soulmates Preoccupied

The thoughts of you preoccupy me
My days, my nights,
My personal stories about you, they sanctify me
The late nights we'd spend examining the eroticised city
The quiet moments we'd weakly fight its monstrous credibility
The early mornings we'd reflect its breathtaking need of poetry
Over numberless cigarettes
And countless cups of coffee
Quoting lyrics of our favourite song, escaping reality...
Exploring our raging connection like connoisseurs
And slaves to untutored passion, unlearned propagandas
Moving rhythmically on instincts and conjectures
No disclaimers, no disclosures
No dilemmas, just self-conscious
And an accomplice so uninhibited, a romantic promiscuous
Perhaps soulmates like you and I
Perhaps anonymous poets
With thoughts preoccupied

-PRK-

To Whom It May Concern

I never thought I'd met you
You used to be a dream - a permanent presence in my sleep
I used to imagine and wish that I'd meet someone like you - in person
Interestingly enough, under a bridge - you fishing, me writing a poem
I'd imagine that we'd started talking first about your fishing hobby
Then about your political stands and yellow boots
In my dreams, I enjoyed listening to your stories
And about that big fish you caught the day before we met
In my dreams, you're 10 years older than me and divorced
You'd have this FM radio hooked to your belt, you'd be listening to old songs
Your favorite rock band is the Scorpions
Our favorite song is "You and I"
You had a son who's my age - a son out of wedlock

And he died in a car accident on his 10th birthday 

The cause of death - you drove under the influence of alcohol 
And you refused to talk about your wife
You said she was beautiful and that you'd never fall in love again
But I met you almost a year ago
In a different form, different face but the same voice
Same demeanor, outlook in life but we never talked about fishing
Your theory of everything is thought-provoking
Your thoughts in everything is always intriguing
Our frank and open deep conversations give me a new breath of life
My coffee tastes different, my cigarette breaks are more meaningful
You keep me thinking all the time
About everything - so deeply, so intensely 
I was lost - thank God for the patience and here we are 
Having more conversations
Deep conversations - about death, love, hope, dreams, relationships, sex and suicidal thoughts
About people, exes, family, and deep darkest secrets
You said to me today;
"Love is lying to the police if your wife killed someone."
"Love is like marriage factor. It's "I'll die for you" level."
"Love is like your mom, she'll always love your dad but I doubt she's still IN LOVE with him after all his cheating and other bullshit."
"Love is "I'll forgive you for having a baby with your mistress if stop all of it for me"."
Everything you say affects me
Everything you make me tell you changes my many perspectives in life
And this time, you're real - a solid presence in my everyday life
How's my American spelling in this random poem, I'd like to know

-PRK-

Charmed

Your aura enamours me
Though you're not here in person,
I could feel the warmth you'd have given me
Through rough days and cold nights
Through early mornings and long fights
That's how much your presence and absence means to me

Though you're probably only making a cameo in my life
At least I know you exist
As your existence was something I longed for
Since I remember care
Since I remember having a company l could share my ups and downs with
Since I remember how missing someone feels like

-PRK-

Weltschmerz

I've had my chapters before I met you
Chapters that were passionate in the beginning that ended with
"You love me until you don't."

One chapter died without closure; as if I was left at the altar
Years spent trying to understand the holy mess
Years wasted trying to weave and mend what's broken
Only to uncover later it never really matters
I was in agony

Chapter two then began just as hope was about to cease
But abruptly it ended with
"You're not very Christian for me."
Frankly I find that pathetic; it wasn't worth my tears
Though I went to bed after a few bottles of beer
I was in agony

Chapter three isn't worth mentioning
Pure lust on one end and it ended slowly with treachery
Then a 'modern romance' sparked
Lecherous, hostile, revolting, revengeful; I hated everything
I was in agony

The fourth chapter... It was a soap opera
The kisses scorched me
My body trembled every time he pulls me closer
Two hearts together, and I thought
"This probably is the beginning of my last chapter."
I was wrong and I thought
"Forever is over."
Again.. I was in agony

And here is a new chapter... Are we writing it together?
Or will I be the one pulling it together?
Once again be in agony?

-PRK-

I'll Have You Know

There are nights that I wish I didn't miss you
And there'll be nights that I wish I didn't see you
Passing by the lot like I never really knew you
It isn't about the touch but the memories we made, boo
There were nights that I'd wait for your calls
And when the phone don't ring, I'd slowly drown in my squalls
Sometimes the awful silence seems louder than our brawls
But these are the nights that explains it all
With every note that changes in every song
And as the pages change too, everything seems wrong
Did we fall out of love, or has it been too long?
Has it been long enough to rewrite the song?
Now don't sweat it, hun, I've seen the real you
I guess you're dealing with a lot of things I went through
But I'm sure it's more than just a hairdo
More than just another weekend you have to get through
You could be right, but I don't take excuses
You're telling me that I'm losing all my focus
The fact of the matter is, you're losing your muses
I'll have you know what an actual truce is

-PRK-

A Paradigm Shift Perhaps

After the storm and unavoidable turbulences
I wanted to sit quietly and enjoy my own company
Or perhaps sit in a tree and watch the world go by
But I too wanted to sleep under the stars with you
Live today, talk about the world
And have a quiet time next to you
Find that balance that we both are looking for
And memorise poems that we can relate to
I want to listen to my own heartbeat
And love without fear
Forgive and forget, and find clarity of thought
Here, as I walk this earth with you
A paradigm shift perhaps, when I finally meet you

-PRK-

Broken, Again; Until Then

I woke up zombified
A living dead living in lies
I didn't know how I'd ever survive
Truth is, I can't even look into your eyes
The story went on that I'm stronger than ever
Only God knows how I'm trying to keep it together
When it's too quiet, I can hear your voice
I can hear you talking and it's not a choice
It's not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't
I fell too soon and I fell deep into confusion
"What is this?" I asked but I can't get the answer
I supposed it was just what my heart desired
What I longed for as I'm no longer searching for 'forever'
What I needed most is a soul that would love me better
Accept me for me, for what I have in mind, night and day
For my thoughts, my questions and my plans in May
Dear diary, would you show me where I went wrong?
From all my entries, show me what I shouldn't have spelt wrong
What I shouldn't have assumed, shouldn't have consumed
For now I've got nowhere to go, nothing to write, nothing to look forward to
But another day, another soul that would make me forget you
Broken again
Yes, I'm broken again
For this quest has no end
And so..
Until then

-PRK-

Opaque

Enchanted by mystery
Charmed by the eclipse found in solace

Untouchable, warm and discreet
A whiff of secrecy wounding me so deep

So promiscuous when I close my eyes
Lost in fantasy, possessed by desire

Unrequited yet complacent
Ah! Astonishingly absurd

-PRK-

Once A Tale

There was a tale that I didn't understand
Couldn't put my finger on it but I tried to comprehend
There were so much words I never spoke of in the end
But there was such a notion I constantly seek to melt in
The warmth was familiar, the intimacy too
Though one thing is peculiar - the trust I had in you
The walls around us couldn't hide a tone so true
But the wall between us is yet to be incised in two
You were broken and I was torn apart
You tried to act cool but it's reaching your heart
And me and my pride couldn't seem to part
But that was then, now you've dethawed my heart
Unconsciously yet a libellous one
And the fear begin, we were both toyed once
And why must this tale begin to confuse me again?
When will this tale flows easy for me to understand?

-PRK-