The Chancellor

I exist in an ambiguous space and time
Where the city is turning mad
With evildoings and violence taking its toll
Often I wish I was far away
In the sounds of silence
Nothing but peace at the border of the town
Maybe in the woods, perhaps the hills
Where I don't feel that I should change my name
My address and identity in the hope of finding freedom
Where I don't have to live in the shadow of fear
A certain power that will always hunt me down

I am consumed by my pursuit to survive where I am
My desire is to come out of the clutches of somewhat a tormenting other half
Often they say that sometimes it takes the darkest hour of our life
The fear of death, to regain our consciousness back into life
I am not just one person
I am that two lives
The completely symbiotic nature of a couple
Constantly in our darkest hour
Going against each other
Like a relationship that has already fallen apart
That is moving fast towards its end

"But do not lose hope", they say
As I wander on empty streets every passing night
As I lose myself to my relentless angst towards somewhat an unyielding life
"Your life is an anthology. Your chapter is not done yet."
I answered them, "but it is not and never was mine to write.
I am never my own person.
I am a puppet.
My life began with an incessant harassment by that I should never mention.
I was pushed to a corner, to take the extreme step.
I never meant to end a life.
I never wanted to take a life.
All I wanted was freedom.

And come 1945."

-PRK-