Manifesto

Some have killed and pillaged but the struggle never ends
Reigned by the supreme, feeling lost in this homeland
Belittle and castigate one another causing pain
What's the point of all this? Aren't our blood all the same?
I guess not; now violent is the culture of the world
So much rage, enslavement happens to all boys and girls
Aggression, affection, or are we all playing dumb?
Can't blame this commotion on the riches or the slum
What's the ultimate salvation? Another round of reformation?
Bloodbath, a cold bath, in the name of such religion?
See this is not about principles, it's all fanaticism
Superstitious beliefs, self-glorification
Origins and doctrines mystified, misinterpreted
The essence of the truth they've all eradicated
I was brought to this world to understand and seek the truth
But so far when I see you, you were aching these youth
Needed them to stay confused, make sure they get used
To the way they get bruised, the way you abused the accused
Now get this, you're not the God or boss of us
You’re probably just another parasite, even worse, just a puss
Dying by the minute when the rest of us diminish
How long more can you fight this when the world comes to a finish?
I fear for your mentality, the one that caused brutality
Enabler of calamity, still grooming all your prodigy
My dear, your ruling majesty, guess you've not seen the sanity
You've been riding so high in life, your middle name is vanity
The Holy Ghost won't cover you, but see those moths, they'll hover you
And if the orphans could, they would cloud your sky with choppers too
Now tell them what the monarchs knew, the evilness you can't unscrew
The inmates, the elderlies, they'd even crack a tooth or two
To see that you keep your words, your manifesto, not your turd
To see that you really care for those you once left unheard
Preachers - they preach, there's the gap and there's the bridge
Now let your actions speak, your promises - you keep

-PRK-

Secrets

As I walk in wide-eyed wonder, I explore the soot-filled nooks
Unravelling the secrets of life through untold stories
And every fragment of what was brought together
Makes me wonder what brought me to life
The blossoming sexuality, the natural boisterousness
And unfulfilled desires of every human being I meet
On their quest for happiness

Amidst moments of hurt, hate, and heal
While preserving their traditions
Under the onslaught of modernism
Triggers my opinions on personalities and characters
And like shockwaves of panic in a dystopian drama,
I discover the meaning of human nature
Its novelistic details, the filtered perspectives
The strictures of patriarchy and the struggles of matriarchy
It's like a comedy laced with cruelty between rain-soaked epiphanies
The comforting words, ingenuity, the barbed jokes
And the truest opinions from the boldest of souls
Souls that fight to stay alive, that march to stand their ground
Souls that gives witty commentaries
On love and loyalty, money and social classes
On races and religions, dilemmas and conundrums
And on my occasional slip into the realm of melodrama
I realise that life, with its mishaps, is just a practical magic
A drunk night of fries and margaritas
A middle finger protest and feminist treatise
An epic journey alongside a broody convict
And at times, an opportunity to sink
Into the psyche of a single-minded survivor
A singular vision and an individual suicide
But how true are they - these secrets of life?
And how perceptive are we with one secret after another?

-PRK-

Come Second

Once a priority, the next, a reserve
Merely an escape
A fling that's conserved
And my soul was relinquished
To one that don't deserve
The passion so wide
Yet the devotion took a swerve
So I followed the curved line
Led me back to the unknown
My emotions were swirled
As if I was stoned
I felt myself falling, drifting away, alone
Slowly escalating, until I know I was gone
Then I questioned myself
I questioned my faith
Will I last through any weather
Will I survive the interfaith
I've gone through the fifth
Will I make it to the eighth
Or will this forever be my wraith?

-PRK-

The Chancellor

I exist in an ambiguous space and time
Where the city is turning mad
With evildoings and violence taking its toll
Often I wish I was far away
In the sounds of silence
Nothing but peace at the border of the town
Maybe in the woods, perhaps the hills
Where I don't feel that I should change my name
My address and identity in the hope of finding freedom
Where I don't have to live in the shadow of fear
A certain power that will always hunt me down

I am consumed by my pursuit to survive where I am
My desire is to come out of the clutches of somewhat a tormenting other half
Often they say that sometimes it takes the darkest hour of our life
The fear of death, to regain our consciousness back into life
I am not just one person
I am that two lives
The completely symbiotic nature of a couple
Constantly in our darkest hour
Going against each other
Like a relationship that has already fallen apart
That is moving fast towards its end

"But do not lose hope", they say
As I wander on empty streets every passing night
As I lose myself to my relentless angst towards somewhat an unyielding life
"Your life is an anthology. Your chapter is not done yet."
I answered them, "but it is not and never was mine to write.
I am never my own person.
I am a puppet.
My life began with an incessant harassment by that I should never mention.
I was pushed to a corner, to take the extreme step.
I never meant to end a life.
I never wanted to take a life.
All I wanted was freedom.

And come 1945."

-PRK-

That Losing End

You assumed you knew me
And you stereotyped me
Not realising you're stereotypical
That you're just another one
Who's afraid to take up a challenge
And unfortunately, born with inferiority complex
I thought you'd be the one
But you've decided that I'm not your match
And you missed the simplicity in me
Blinded by what you want to see
And what they made you see
You didn't want to tolerate your time and circumstances
You didn't give it a chance to nurture
You worry too much about the needs and demands
But it's your lost
I could have made you happy
Be the one you'd love the most

-PRK-

Flake Off, Quagmire

Needles pierced through my skin 

Attached to the machine

Entering the layers perhaps 1/16" of an inch

At approximately 10-15 needle drops per second

Fast enough to avoid puncturing my skin 

And causing bleeding 

And yet slow enough to avoid tearing it

It bled and wept a little

But it was a uniquely personal experience

They often ask if it's sore; if the pain is unspeakable 

That somehow got me thinking once - no, a few times

That if I'd cut myself, will I bleed black?

Like the ink used for my tattoos

But I don't blame them for asking such a question 

Fooled by horror stories, they're bound to think that it's excruciating 

Often I'd like to tell them that my body can take almost anything 

A cut, a burn, 10 tattoos, and counting 

My body can withstand different amounts of pain

No need for drugs that can thin the blood

No need for skin-numbing creams

Because it is in the mind that I control the sensation 

It is my mental strength that I can always hinge upon

But no matter how strong my mind is

Sometimes my heart fails 

Every time it got fooled, played and hurt

Only time can tell how long I'd have to heal the pain

Unlike the healing process of my tattoos  

It was never quite manageable

An open wound still

I don't know how a healed heart feels like

But... Flake off, Quagmire

-PRK-

I'll Have You Know

There are nights that I wish I didn't miss you
And there'll be nights that I wish I didn't see you
Passing by the lot like I never really knew you
It isn't about the touch but the memories we made, boo
There were nights that I'd wait for your calls
And when the phone don't ring, I'd slowly drown in my squalls
Sometimes the awful silence seems louder than our brawls
But these are the nights that explains it all
With every note that changes in every song
And as the pages change too, everything seems wrong
Did we fall out of love, or has it been too long?
Has it been long enough to rewrite the song?
Now don't sweat it, hun, I've seen the real you
I guess you're dealing with a lot of things I went through
But I'm sure it's more than just a hairdo
More than just another weekend you have to get through
You could be right, but I don't take excuses
You're telling me that I'm losing all my focus
The fact of the matter is, you're losing your muses
I'll have you know what an actual truce is

-PRK-

Disarray

Don't give me hope
If that's all you can give me
Because I can't bear the pain anymore
I can't get hurt like this anymore
Tears on my sleepless nights
And when I do fall asleep, you appear in my dreams
And I just woke up from a weird one
One I can't explain
But something is wrong
It was incomplete
The dream just ended
And it woke me up from my sleep

-PRK-

Tewas

Lagaknya berani, bagai seorang pahlawan
Terkadang bongkak, lenyapkan kebaculan
Jijik sungguh, persis sorotan perzinahan
Khayalan yang gempita dilarut nistaan
Namun itu semua bayangan maya yang sepi
Kelancangannya ghaib bila dia sendiri
Tubuhnya gentar dibedil realiti
Jiwanya lemas ditindas fantasi
Kerna walaupun bingit, dia rasa bisu
Mulut terbuka, lidah terkedu
Di senjakala dia mula sendu
Cuba dileburkan, dia beradu
Namun gelap itu kekal
Terang itu terbatas
Andai si satria itu cekal
Mustahil dirinya dibiarkan tewas

-PRK-

If

What good are your speeches, dear preachers
If every step taken leads to danger
If every breath crossed leads to sufferance
If every word uttered leads to blackmail
If every wave acknowledged leads to homicide
If every smile exchanged leads to suicide
If every sympathy imposed leads to betrayal
If every empathy endeavoured leads to treachery

-PRK-

The Tart Sequel

Privileged as the heir to the gold beans
You grew up with the roots, groomed in greens
The sun was your filter from darkness and gloom
The ample rain poured nicely in your luminous room
Such infliction you need for the ontogeny
Yet the ontology stayed backward in the prophecy
Your leaves you left sunbaked till they crumble in sorrow
But the hollow life they left behind will start anew tomorrow
For you that is, when you germinate to a chromatic colour
When a little girl pluck you from that tree of wretched valour
Because the leaves aged but you were beheaded
The leaves went with the flow but you were molested

-PRK-

That Trust

Sometimes we overplay it
Sometimes we disobey it
Sometimes we disarray it
Sometimes we outstay it
And then we underpay it
Most times we don't potray it
Afraid we'd dismay it
After we've devotedly copay it

-PRK-

Respect Gone Fishing

I never saw that you did caring
Nor have I ever seen that you did raising
For all I knew was you did cheating
You brought her home whilst I was growing

I was around ten when you deceived me
You smeared my respect for you; it hurt me
For all you ever was was a hero to me
Until you couldn't keep yourself together for me

I never grew to love you more than that
Nor have I ever wished to gain your respect
For all I knew was that you are no more than that
Just another man in the family I can't respect

I was in my teen then when I wasn't consoled
When I wasn't told that it's not the end of the world
When I hated all the opposite of me and the likes of you
When all I felt was anger and rage with no curfew

My heart rebelled silently
For when I needed you, you weren't there entirely
The rage I had without a doubt was deadly
Couldn't figure out what stole your sanity

Today I fall, pushed by my magnitude
Getting tired of my strong attitude
Refused to believe in that altitude
Hence I keep to my own beatitude

The Missing Mechanism

Spruced up for hookups

Some dough and a hookah

She thinks she's living it

But he knows she'd die out

Because she lost her way,

Confused in the day

Can't breathe in the night

Ugly things on their way

New ballgame to play

Screwed verses that sways

Dejected, conflicted by ideas of being gay

She's desperate for peace

His lust isn't at ease

She needs to make money

While he is the beast

Some do it for fun

Some do it to survive

Trust they tried to run

But violent is fast

Bashed up to stay up

Or else she needs to pay up

To make up for the rescue

She's controlled to stay laced up

And this thing called whoredom

Isn't a life without boredom

It's a life without condom

She'll kick a bucket at random

No commiseration

Yet she's the apportion

To those who stick dicks
Shove it in without passion

A woman and a child
And a man of the wild

Nobody would know
When life is on trial

But heaven is true
Desperation is too

That heaven on earth
Puts us in the blue

Now she was just a child
Who's a mother to a child

But there was no child life
When he brought her to the wild

A father in the name
A guardian by right

But his shit is full of shame
A monstrous kind of life

-PRK-